This week I did not threaten to kick my children's tiny butts if they did not stop fighting, whining, or using my mouse as a telephone. First off my children are not that wild and secondly, anyone who knows me knows that I would definitely kick their butts if given the chance. In fact, I am not wrestling my mouse back out of my daughter's hands at this very moment.
I am definitely not ignoring her crying so that I can continue typing this. That would just be bad parenting.
I certainly did not show up to my friend's house for dinner, and even though she has just suffered an enormous life-altering loss, complain about how badly my day went. That would just be selfish and weird. And I never do weird.
I did not attempt to cheer up my temper-tantruming-two-year-old with pudding and popsicles a single time this week, so saying that I did it several times would be a complete and total lie.
I did not wear the same sweater two days in a row because it was already out and clean enough.
Oh, and I totally stuck to my menu plan all week.